Just this morning I was asked by a guy if massage would help him to overcome the pain of getting fucked. YES is the answer! Gentle ass massage can really help you to relax and become more comfortable with the idea of getting fucked. Of course there are many other factors to take into account.
Douching, first and foremost, not only means that you will be squeaky clean up there, but also I find that it does help my ass to relax (yes I do get fucked too boys!) safe in the knowledge that all is clean and I can enjoy myself. So here is my advice for douching. In my experience the best way to douche is in the shower. I unscrew the shower head, and either squat or spead my legs wide apart and allow a small amount of cold or luke warm water to spray up my ass until I feel it has filled the first, only the first, cavity. Then I quickly turn off the shower, go sit on the toilet and let it run out. I do this 2 to 3 times. It helps to use some handsoap first to make your ass nice and slippery. I usually stick my finger up my ass to make sure I can’t feel anything up there, and then I’m good to go. I think the mistake many guys make is to put gallons of water up their arse and that tends to open the flood gates and then we are into enima territory! You only need to rinse out the first section really as most dicks are not 14″ long! I’ve met so many guys who, before we have sex, are in the bathroom for 30-40 mins! It takes me 3-5 mins if that!
Ask your partner to rim you or gently, very gently, play with your ass before he goes in. It’s called Foreplay guys.. I think many of us have forgotten about that these days. Gently stroking or blowing on a guys ass for 5 mins or so before fucking him makes a huge difference. The act of massaging another person in a loving and gentle way releases a hormone called ‘Oxytocin’ often referred to as the love hormone or the cuddle hormone which creates a feeling of relaxation, trust and harmony. It is this very hormone which is released in abundance when women give birth to help them to bond with their babies.
Use plenty of lube!! So many guys try to go in dry and it’s not good either for your cock or his ass! I’ve found the very best lube is a homemade mixture of watery Jlube (which I use for cock massage) and Aqueous Cream which can be bought from the chemist or in my case the Farmacia. It works great and acts as an incredible moisturiser so your ass will feel great afterwards. Whatever lube you use make sure you use a lot if he is not used to getting fucked.
Most importantly of all. Empathy. Just imagine what it would feel like for you to be getting fucked. Be slow gentle and try to go at his pace and not yours. And remember if it feels good for him he’ll want to do it all the time! It’s a win, win situation.
Finally I feel very strongly that position is really, really important. When I get fucked I like to start on top so that I can gently lower myself, at my own pace, onto his cock. After that my favourite positions to fuck and get fucked in are spooning side by side which feels really close and sensual, or what I like to call the ‘Lion Pose’ similar to the Child Pose in yoga, which is pretty much doggy but with his kness inbetween mine instead of outside. It’s a much more comfortable position that the conventional doggy style which ends up hurting my hips after a while. And in this pose you can hold your partner and kiss his neck while you thrust gently and deeply into him. Bliss.
So those are my thoughts on Anal sex. My dear friend Seb Cox is now running Ass Massage or as he calls it ‘Rosebud Massage’ classes throughout the UK. Do check out his website for more info. http://www.meetup.com/male-massage-london/members/11448093/