My ‘Boyfriend’ came to stay a few weeks ago from London. I write ‘Boyfriend’ in inverted commas as we have reached that point in our relationship, Thursday 8th September marking the one year anniversary of the eve of our meeting, where we are looking at labels, questions about monogamy, freedom of expression… but that my dear readers is another blog for another time. Most importantly he is the most important person in my life, a shining light, a breath of fresh air, beautiful and I am so grateful for him. I love you so much P. Thankyou for being you… Fuck labels… Anyway onwards….
So each time he comes to stay in my little flat in the picturesque town of Altea, he of course sees what I have come to call the behind the scenes action prior to my performing a massage. Any of you who have experienced a good tantric massage will not have seen this.. The cleaning of one’s flat, the lighting of candles and incense, wondering if I have enough clean towels, checking the oil (do I need to make a frantic dash to the Farmacia to buy another litre or do I have enough?), setting up the table, making sure the music on my trusty mac is at just the right volume, dealing with my hair (which I am growing out at the moment and which rarely looks decent especially in 38 degrees plus humidity), a quick gargle with mouthwash, a quick spray of aftershave, making sure the cat is outside and doesn’t disturb me… And then, finally, make sure the phone is on silent (I learned this from my days as a life model, once leaving my phone on during a very intense sculpture class only for me to receive a call half way through! They were not impressed! And never again did I leave my phone not on silent!)…
Anyway, you get the picture! It doesn’t just all happen as if by magic! Now picture the scene… Everything is prepared. Candles lit, music ready.. I sit an wait for the doorbell….
And I wait, and I wait and I wait….. 5 mins pass, 10 mins, 15 mins!!!!!! Half an hour later I blow out the 20 candles I’ve just lit, if it’s Winter time I switch off the expensive heat in the massage room not wanting to waste electricity. Rather than being a calm and serene tantric masseur I am pissed off. I am fuming.. Worst of all the text message I have sent, or Grindr message, or Hornet, or Scruff, or Wapo or whatever bloody app I have been using to talk to this person on, has not been replied to, or even worse they are clearly online and still 20km away!!!!!!! Groan…. All that work, all that preparation, all that time wasted…. No reply.. No apology.. Nada…
And the worse thing about it is that I had another request for a massage at roughly the same time that I turned down as I thought I had a definite booking…. So I have not only lost out on money but I have disappointed another person. That’s the thing you see about being a freelance Tantric Masseur is that there is only one of you. You only have two hands. You can only see one person at a time and in between sessions real life must ensue… You need to eat a sandwich, feed the cat, have a shower, go to the bank or the supermarket or the post office, or call Mum and Dad…. Real life….
I’ve wanted to write this blog for a while.. I have been very lucky in the five years that I have worked as a masseur in that most of my clients have been wonderful, respectful, amazing, genuine guys and I am so grateful for them. However the occasions where I have been left if the lurch sitting there twiddling my thumbs and gradually growing more and more frustrated have been pretty soul destroying… If I say I’ll be somewhere, I’m there. I’m a Virgo so we are pretty fussy about time keeping and punctuality. And more than anything else it is about respecting your fellow man. If I can’t make it I’ll tell you well in advance.. I will do my very best not to keep you waiting or let you down. You know why? Because you deserve it. Because I don’t want to waste your time. Time is precious and I want you all to have joyous fulfilling lives. I’m not gonna waste your time.
So I guess this is a request… Don’t waste people’s time folks.. Whether you have arranged a massage, arranged an escort, arranged a dentist appointment or dinner with a friend of family member. Either show up on time, or let them know if you are gonna be late or can’t make it, and give them the gift of time, let them arrange something else.. Don’t leave them sitting for an hour staring at their phone or the clock and wondering where you are. Just tell them. We have the technology now that allows and enables us to communicate so easily and so freely. It only takes seconds and very little effort to send a message to say “I’m gonna be late” or “I can’t make it tonight” or “I’ve changed my mind”… It’s easy.. So please respect others. Send a little love.. And look after yourselves and others. Sending much love and light from Spain… Aaron xxx